Archive for April, 2009

Hitler is a myth

Adolf Hitler is so obviously a mythical figure I don’t know why people still believe in him. Let’s see, he was born in a different country then the one he would first rule. Sound familiar? I thought so. That’s because Hitler is merely a 20th century recasting of Napoléon Bonaparte, probably the result of a massive Soviet propaganda effort. The resemblances are blatant:

Napoléon: Born in the Corsican Republic, but he would first rule over France. Baptized Roman Catholic.
Hitler: Born in Austria, but he would first rule over Germany. Baptized Roman Catholic.

Napoléon: Changed his surname from “di Buonaparte” to “Bonaparte.”
Hitler: Changed his surname from “Hiedler” to “Hitler.”

Napoléon: Started as First Consul of France before crowning himself Emperor.
Hitler: Started as Chancellor of Germany before appointing himself Führer.

Napoléon: Came to power not long after France’s monarchy had been transformed into a republic. Later changed country name from “French REPUBLIC” to “French EMPIRE.”
Hitler: Came to power not long after Germany’s monarchy had been transformed into a republic. Later changed country name from “Weimar REPUBLIC” to “Deutsches Reich” meaning “German EMPIRE.”

Napoléon: Best known for trying to conquer Europe.
Hitler: Best known for trying to conquer Europe.

Napoléon: Turning point in his career was failed invasion of Russia known as the “Patriotic War.” Italy was an ally in this invasion.
Hitler: Turning point in his career was failed invasion of Russia known as the “Great Patriotic War.” (This is obviously the work of lazy Soviet propaganda, they didn’t ever bother to change the name!) Italy was an ally in this invasion.

Napoléon: Died due to arsenic poisoning.
Hitler: Died due to cyanide poisoning.

Note to future, most likely confused self: This a satire of the Jesus myth hypothesis, specifically the claim that the gospels are merely retellings of older stories about pagan life-death-rebirth deities. Some of the facts are intentionally false or misleading. P.S. Happy Easter