Archive for July, 2011

Silly hats make me more republican

I am ze Fascinator!  I have been sent from ze future to wear stupid hats.

stupid hat, canadian style

So apparently Kate changed outfits five times in 24 hours.  Now this is pure speculation but the only reason I can think of to change your clothes that often is if you poop your pants.  Now if it’s true that our little Katie has continence issues then maybe she should have stayed home.  Which I assume is Cambridge.  I mean that would be ridiculous to have a title and not actually live in that place.  You know, that must be dreadfully inconvenient for Chuck and Camilla, what with the former living in Wales and the latter across the water in Cornwall.

Now I realize this is all very childish and petty but I don’t haven any other options.  By their very nature, royalists are immune to logic.  I’ve tried.  They just continue to swoon over the celebrity of these unemployed individuals.  So maybe if I can convince people that she poops her pants (which still makes sense even if she’s wearing a dress due to the dual meaning of the word “pants”) then maybe they’ll find her less alluring.  But with my luck it will just make her “earthy.”

Of course I’m being facetious and there are other explanations for Kate’s frequent wardrobe changes.  Like maybe she peed her pants.  Or maybe she’s a sloppy eater.  I bet they had her eating some stereotypically Canadian food and we all know how sticky maple syrup can be.