Shaking Off

I first became interesting in the subject of whaling when I ate whale (admittedly, quite tasty) in Akureyri, Iceland. The Lonely Planet guidebook took a decidedly anti-whaling stance and not without good reason: whale watching is actually a much more profitable industry than whaling and unsurprisingly the two are somewhat mutually exclusive.

Whaling is one of those things we’re just instinctively opposed to without knowing why. The “I love the animals” argument doesn’t hold water because considering the amount of fish whales eat you actually save lives by killing them. The endangered species argument is valid but misleading. And finally the argument that whales are uniquely intelligent creatures is not backed up by any real science with the possible exception of the sperm whale which nobody hunts anymore. Dolphin hunting (dolphining?) is related but not the same.

Back to the endangered argument: “whales” is a very broad term that envelopes dozens of different species, many of which are not endangered in the least. Of the whale species that are endangered probably the most famous are the blue whale and the right whale. Nobody hunts these species anymore. Not even Japan, and that’s saying something.

Enter the International Whaling Comission (IWC), a well-intentioned but emasculated body. In 1986 the IWC voted to impose moratorium on commercial whaling. However, not being a formal treaty organization this is all non-binding. The chief whaling states–Japan, Iceland and Norway–have largely ignored the moratorium. Canada’s response was the most hilarious: we just simply left the organization.

Japan is the strongest defender of whaling on the IWC, its anti-whaling counterpart has been the United States. Both have been accused of using trade or other outside influence to buy votes within the organization.

This is getting too long, which means there will inevitably be a part two.

The news keeps talking about some coup d’état in Honduras and it’s really pissing me off.

In my mind, a coup usually goes something like this: a small group (often military) unilaterally seizes power, revokes the constitution, bans all political parties and, following a show trial, executes the former leader.

A coup is not when the military, with the full support of congress and the supreme court, removes one elected official from power and flies him to safety in a neighbouring country. I call that an excessively forceful impeachment. That doesn’t make it right, though, it just makes it not a coup. Oh and the new interim president, he’s from the same party as the old one, the Liberal Party. And the legislature that wanted the Zelaya out? Controlled by the Liberal Party.

I don’t know what the point is, but here’s a third bit on Iran. I’m really pessimistic about the chances of a positive outcome, but I guess anything could happen.

Props to Mousavi for refusing to back down, but he needs to do more. Even if he’s not backing down, some of his supporters are. They’re tired and afraid for their safety. Mousavi needs to step up and start appearing at these rallies… Khatami too, and even Rafsanjani. It’s true he’ll be risking life and limb but being the kind of figure he is, the Sword of Damocles is nothing new. When his supporters see that he is willing to be out there, it’ll be the best recruitment tool ever. In fact, and I know this will sound insensitive, but if Mousavi were to be arrest or, God forbid, killed, the outrage stemming from this would be of revolutionary proportions.

A more thing. Rafsanjani may appear to be somewhat of an ally now, but at heart he’s still a conservative. He’s also got his eyes on the position of Supreme Leader. The man who should be Supreme Leader, Hossein Ali Montazeri, is currently under house arrest. Maybe they should spring him loose. Montazeri was being groomed as Khomeini’s successor when he had to go and speak up against the mass executions of political prisoners in 1988. The nerve! In hindsight, had he known Khomeini would be dead within a year he could have just buckled down and waited it out.

P.S. I suppose I should say something about MJ. Great singer, weird guy.
I’ve always liked this song for obvious reasons:

Scenario 1: The election results are legit and Ahmedinejad has won by a landslide.

We have a country full of crazies and in several years they’ll have nuclear weapons. Oh shit, Israel already has nukes and the finger on the button belongs to Binyamin Netanyahu.

Scenario 2: The election was rigged, the results are fraudulent.

It’s back to the 1980s for Iran. The opposition will be rounded up (some already have been) and dissent will be silenced. Sounds about time for another revolution. Let’s be proactive and evacuate the embassies now.

Contrary to what many think, the Islamic Republic of Iran is indeed a democracy. It has multiple political parties which field candidates in relatively free elections. Which is more than can be said for Cuba, a country the loony left has no short supply of love for. However, it is an illiberal democracy: all candidates, presidential or parliamentary, must be pre-approved by the unelected Guardian Council. Also, when in power, there’s no guarantee you can actually achieve what you planned, especially if your ideas are contrary to those of the religious elite.

So, democratic? Yes. Free? Absolutely not. But the sooner we can get Ahmedinejad out of there, the better off everyone will be. So our greatest, best hope is Mir-Hossein Mousavi. As far as reformers go, he’s relatively conservative. But he firmly believes in the Holocaust. And at the end of the day, a more conservative reformer is less likely to piss off the clergy and therefore less likely to have all his attempts at reform stonewalled à la Khatami.

So while a wind of change might not be sweeping through the Land of the Aryans, let’s hope and pray for at least a light breeze.

I wrote most of this several days ago but the “Moving Forward” and the “The Diaspora” sections were incomplete and I felt they are very necessary so that it doesn’t just look like I’m merely celebrating a military victory.

After the BJP’s humiliating defeat and with Aung Sun Suu Kyi on trial, it’s a relief to finally hear some good news coming out of South Asia: the Liberation Tigers Of Tamil Eelam*, the LTTE, have been officially pwned. Velupillai Prabhakaran, its power-hungry leader for just over 33 years is no more.

Not as flashy as al Qaeda or as deceptive as Hamas, the LTTE were FUCKING BRUTAL in their own special way. Now just to be sure, I am in no way condoning the heavy handedness of the Sri Lankan Army but we must realize that the enemy of my enemy is quite often also my enemy. Stalin kicked some serious Nazi ass but that doesn’t mean I’ll be inviting him to my next birthday party (he died a long time ago anyway). But despite his rhetoric, Prabhakaran cared not about the Tamil people, only power. There may be a fine line between terrorist and freedom fighter but the LTTE were nowhere near it. One little bit of trivia: the LTTE are (one of) the only terrorist organization(s) to ever have an air force.

Beaten but not Forgotten

One of the most enduring legacies of the LTTE will undoubtedly be its brilliant invention. It’s easy to forget that less than two decades ago all suicide bombings were carried out with the aid of some sort of vehicle. But the LTTE changed all that. The explosive belt is a device so simple it’s a wonder somebody else didn’t think of it sooner. But it was the Tigers who unveiled their ingenious invention in 1991 with the assassination of Rajiv Gandhi (no doubt also helping “Gandhi” set the record for most assassinations per surname). From there on the floodgates opened up. Women, children, anybody could be a suicide bomber. All you need are charismatic leaders who don’t have you best interests in mind and a whole lotta ka-blam!

Moving Forward

The ball is in Sri Lanka’s court. With the LTTE out of the way they must quickly reconcile with their Tamil minority. No doubt some just must be served to those guilty of crimes against humanity but a witchhunt is in nobody’s best interest. The government needs to implement devolution to the Northern Province as promised in the Indo-Sri Lanka Accord. At the same time, This needs to be coupled with firm maintainance by the central government that separatism will not be tolerated. Amending the constitution in order to make Sri Lanka a federation would be the best course of action. That way, if in the future an extreme Sinhala nationalist party comes into power they can’t just revoke the devolved authority.

The Diaspora

Now Canada, Toronto especially, has the largest population of Tamils outside of Asia and the largest population of Sri Lankan Tamils outside of Sri Lanka itself. It was only recently that I became aware of the fact that there is a clear distinction between Sri Lankan Tamils and the inhabitants of Tamil Nadu. While the cultures are closely related they have nonetheless been separate societies for many centuries now.

Members of the Sri Lankan diaspora have a duty to lobby foreign governments in the interests of the homeland but I believe they’re doing it all wrong. Mass gatherings with the waving of what appear to be terrorist colours is no way to garner support. In fact, forget about support for the time being and focus on sympathy. Ideally people would just care for the situation of all oppressed people around the world. But this isn’t the case: we have busy lives and only so much love to give. So that’s why you must promote a sort of “Tamilophilia.” For example, during the Greek War of Independence many Europeans were of the mindset of “Fuck yeah! Greeks rule! Plato and Alexander the Great and shit! Awesome!” Looking to a more modern time, the Israeli War of Independence: “Alright man, I LOVE the Jews, they wrote the bible and we’ve been shitting on them for two thousand years!” But if someone is to mention the plight of the Kurds the response is more along the lines of “dude, I love cheese curds.”

Much like Greek, the Tamil language is one of the oldest languages in the world still in use. The Tamils have a rich and prosperous history: people need to be informed about this.

*It’s their proper name, and “Tamil Tigers” sounds more like a baseball team than an international terrorist organization.

(Cross posted at Facebook and LiveJournal.)

So it seems fairly certain that there’s going to be a Likud victory. Now, if we’re lucky they will be able form a rainbow coalition with their traditional opponents, Kadima and Labor. Otherwise, Yisrael Beitanu will be the main coalition partner, which means Israeli politics will swing way to the right. Yisrael Beitanu, also known (mainly by me) as the “Fucking Crazy Party”, has been compared to the Nazis on occasion but I think that’s just journalists getting off on the irony of comparing a Jewish organization to a notoriously antisemitic one. However, Yisrael Beitanu is ultra-nationalistic and racist, which is bad news for any Arabs living in Israel or (especially) the Palestinian territories.

The funny thing is that it is Hamas and, by negligence, the rest of the Arab world, that has driven the Israeli public to such hawkishness. By their constant barrage of rockets, Hamas has brought this on. Now, I can see two possible explanations for this:

1. Hamas just loves war. They love getting their jihad on and no peace process is going to stop them. Notably when the UN Security Council came up with a ceasefire proposal Hamas rejected it alongside Israel.

2. The concept of a liberal democracy where people vote for the party that best represents their views instead of the party which they view as being least corrupt; this concept is so utterly foreign to Hamas that they are unaware of the influence they have on Israeli politics.

Now the Israeli blockade of Gaza is stupid, ineffective and wickedly damaging to Israeli credibility. Just take a look at Cuba and you’ll see how effective blockades are for inducing regime change. However, the term “Israeli blockade” is misleading because Egypt has been maintaining a blockade as well. You see, everyone hates Hamas. Especially the Arab countries. Egypt is willing to blockade Gaza in order to protect its citizens but is unwilling to take any further action. The governments of the Arab world avoid criticizing Hamas too much because they fear it might provoke an international Islamist uprising (cf. Mugabe and the African Union). So they choose to butt heads with Israel instead of Hamas. Better the devil you know.

Part 1 of an infinite part series on the stupidity of abortion.

(Cross posted at Facebook and LiveJournal.)

So President Obama has reversed Ronald Reagan’s “Mexico City policy” which disallows public funding for death factories.  I mean, obviously it’s not enough just to have the ability to slaughter your unborn child, it’s necessary for hard working taxpayers to bankroll your ≈$500 “oops.”  Ever since Mr. Reagan formulated it in 1984, this policy has ping-ponged between Republicans and Democrats.  One thing’s for sure: it’s fairly evident now that Mr. Obama is NOT a secret Muslim.  For as the Qur’an tells us: “Kill not your children for fear of want: We shall provide sustenance for them as well as for you. Surely the killing of them is a great sin.” (17:31, Yusuf Ali).

For my part, I have conceived of a policy that is complimentary to Mr. Reagan’s.  I call it the “Keep Your Legs Together policy.”  It goes something like this: You are about to engage in sexual intercourse.  Are you prepared to deal with the challenges of parenthood should your actions result in pregnancy?  If yes, then proceed. If no, then keep your legs together!

(Cross posted at Facebook and LiveJournal.)

I hereby proclaim, for now and for evermore, today, December 12 shall be celebrated as Victory over Communism (V-C) Day.

Now I realize that this may seem premature because after all there are still five communist states out there and several more where communist parties form governments. Nonetheless, the collapse of the Soviet Union at the end of 1991 represented a swift kick in the nuts of the world revolution. The USSR broke apart over the entire month of December 1991, beginning with the Ukrainian independence referendum on the 1st and ending with the complete and utter cessation/transfer of all functions on the 31st.

So why the 12th? Well since it’s hard to pin down exactly popular dates include the 21st when the CIS was formed or 26th when the Supreme Soviet voted to dissolve the union. However, since both of these are too close to Christmas, I decided on the 12th which is when Russia left the union, a point that there was definitely no turning back from. Just as if England were to secede from the UK, Russia’s departure effectively rendered the superpower defunct.

I want to take this time to recognize some important warriors in the struggle against communism:

Pope John Paul the Great
Everybody knows him, he was the head of the largest church in the world, a figurehead for over a billion people. Nevertheless I believe too many people regard him “simply” as a religious figure and don’t appreciate the political influence he had.

The Roman Catholic Church’s no-holds-barred opposition to communism was one of several factors that led European communists to break from Moscow and develop “eurocommunism,” a version of communism which, among other things, lacked the atheist ambitions of straight up Marxism.

However, I believe one quotation says it better than anything else. In 1992, devout atheist Mikhail Gorbachev made the follow comment: “What has happened in Eastern Europe in recent years would not have been possible without the presence of this Pope, without the great role even political that he has played on the world scene.”

Chiang Kai-shek
Much has been said about Chiang’s authoritarian rule and human rights violations. While there are many things he did I certainly don’t endorse, he was stuck between a rock and a hard place: with the Japanese breaking down his front door and the communists coming in the back he did what he had to. In fighting Japan he lost China and he decided that some freedoms would have to be sacrificed to prevent infiltration. One thing is for sure: in 1949 there were two China’s and today one of them is a liberal democracy with a robust economy and the other is an exploitative police state. Chiang’s China is the former.

The Partisans
Last, but not least I want to give a shout out to all those who fought against unbelievable odds. After everyone else had given up they refused to put down their arms. While Russian White Army and the Chinese National Revolutionary Army must be given their due, the people for whom I have limitless respect are those who continued to fight to the bitter end, moving from town to town or even living in the wilderness to avoid capture. These people mainly lived in Eastern Europe and the Baltic states. Who knows what drove them on to fight a battle they could never hope to win? Perhaps at first they were preparing for Western intervention. But after the brutal crushing of the Hungarian Revolution many still fought on.

I’m really glad I wasn’t alive in 1956 because I would have been so fucking pissed off at the uselessness of the West to come to the aid of Hungary. We just sat on our hands and said, “Oh wow, you must be very brave. We’re so proud of you, and although we’re not going to stop the Soviets from brutally crushing you, Time Magazine has agreed to make you Man of the Year as a consolation prize.” 12 years later like déjà vu, the same damn thing happened to Czechoslovakia.

But still they fought on. Poland’s “cursed soldiers,” the Forest Brothers of the Baltic nations and various groups in Romania. I hope one day I am able to find a cause for which I have a fraction of the passion they had.

(Cross posted at Facebook and LiveJournal.)

“Ben, why do you complain so much about the monarchy?”
“It has no real power.”
“It’s not even a relevant issue.”

So Prime Minister Stephen Harper requested proroguing of parliament and Governor General Michaëlle Jean granted his request. That buys Mr. Harper some time but ultimately if the opposition parties do topple the government the ball is in Mme. Jean’s court. Would she allow a coalition to form? or would she call an election?

Why is it her decision? I don’t remember voting for her. I guess she was appointed then, but she must have had parliamentary confirmation. Wait, she didn’t? Well, the vast majority previous Governors General have been Members of Parliament, Canadian or British, or at least held some sort of diplomatic post. Pardon? You say she was none of these things? She was actually a reporter? Well, clearly that qualifies her to be the head of our military. I guess she represents same old hag named Mrs. Windsor (just don’t call her that in parliament or else you’ll be expelled).

Contrary what some will have you believe this coalition idea is more democratic than the Senate and completely constitutional. It’s also completely stupid. Like suicide or abortion, just because you can doesn’t mean you should. The last two times there were serious coalition discussions it was concerning the issue of conscription. Maybe we should bring that back, too, because I think Hamid Karzai would be a much better leader to live under than Stéphane Dion. You know, if we’re lucky, this may even turn into a full blown constitution crisis. That would just be swell on top of that little economic crisis we’re already in.

But Mr. Harper, this doesn’t mean I’m letting you off the hook. I’d like to introduce you to my good friend John Maynard Keynes. You’d do well to listen to what he has to say.