Shaking Off

Catharina Hagen was born and raised in East Berlin.  A child prodigy in a variety of disciplines she ultimately chose to persue a music career and adopted the stage name Nina Hagen.  In 1974, at age 18, she released her first album, Du hast den Farbfilm vergessen, with her band Automobil.  It’s an album full of crazy pop music with fun, brassy arrangements.

Complications led the Hagen family to defect in 1976.  Nina promptly got herself hooked up with a major label who sent her to London to be educated in the ways of Western music.  Upon her return Hagen formed a new band that was named after herself and transformed into Germany’s answer to Debbie Harry (with some Lydia Lunch aesthetics thrown in for good measure).  The Nina Hagen Band released their first album in 1978.  It was completely absent of any crazy/fun pop music and instead filled with second rate New Wave, the kind of which was sweeping the free world at the time.  The rest, they say, is history.  Today her early work is largely forgotten and she’s known only as Germany’s priestess of punk (which I believe in German is “das Deutschepunkenrockenpriestess“).

Nina Hagen is an anomaly.  West Germany gave us krautrock and for the most part delivered far superior music.  But it does illustrate that, when the wall fell 20 years ago and GDR culture was completely overrun by “Western decadence”–something was lost.  Some former East Germans feel what’s known as ostalgie (”eastalgia,” more or less), a nostalgia for those positive elements of life behind the Iron Curtain.

Chancellor Angela Merkel noted yesterday that the reunification process still isn’t complete.  Economic disparities are still very real.  It makes you wonder: if Germany has had such a hard time with it, is there a hope in hell for countries like Korea or China?

I happened to glance at a “Dear Ellie” column in the newspaper (one of those myriad Ann Landers knock-offs) and it ran something like this: “Dear Ellie, I’ve been dating a married man, blah blah blah, etc.”  And then she replied with something like “Well your problem is a communication issue…”

No, your problem is your dating a fucking married man, you slut! Don’t get me wrong, I disapprove of his actions even more but it was the lady who happened to be writing the letter.

It’s really pissing me off how borderline acceptable adultery has become.  In fiction particularly it’s often portrayed as some sort of character flaw.  No, just no.  Drug addiction is a character flaw, rage is a character flaw, being a workaholic is a character flaw; unilaterally shattering the bond with the person you pledged your all to, till death you do part: that’s a failure at life.  Murderers, rapists, pædophiles: I put adulterers in the same category.  What’s the point of a marriage vow if there’s no consequences to breaking it?  At the very least I think infidelity should be regarded as tantamount to waiving child custody.  How the hell are you supposed to be a role model?  Yet in some countries adultery isn’t even taken into consideration in divorce proceedings.  For people in abusive relationships I guess I can understand it but that still doesn’t justify it.

They had their priorities straight in the olden days.  The affair of Sir Lancelot and Guinevere leads to the downfall of Camelot, the deaths of Arthur and Gawain and ends with the two lovers adopting celibacy.  Now that’s some seriously righteous consequences.  Now this is not to say that the folks of the middle ages were perfect.  In particular, kings seemed to be somehow immune to the no adultery rule.  Of course the best monarchs (Edward the Confessor, Richard the Lionheart, Henry V, Henry VII) curiously don’t seem to have had mistresses.

The Human League - Human

[Ed.--In retrospect I think comparing adulterers to murderers, rapists and pædophiles was a bit harsh.  Nevertheless I do think there should be some form of punishment for what is, essentially, the breach of a contract.  However, I believe the emotional devastation caused by adultery can be comparable to those previously mentioned heinous crimes.]

It can be easy to forget that “Lisbon” is the name of a city in Portugal.  It’s the capital city, in fact.  However, it’s now become short hand for the treaty that was signed there in December of ‘07.  The Treaty of Lisbon, of course, is the comprehensive reform package designed to make the European Union run more smoothly, clearly and democratically.  The treaty itself is a 272 page beast, the PDF of which can be downloaded here (if you have far too much time on your hands you can check out what the Rome and Maastricht Treaties will look like as amended by Lisbon, a 329 page document).  What it all boils down to is that these are complex and confusing documents meant to be dealt with my politicians.  If the citizenry had the time and energy to understand everything about governance we wouldn’t need representative democracy.  MOST European states agree with this model.  Ireland, not so much.

Due to having an extremely rigid constitution the polls on the Emerald Isle are set to open in under an hour.  They rejected it last time they voted on it but it took them two tries to ratify the Treaty of Nice, too.  Maybe next EU treaty the Irish government should just set forth dates for two referendums right from the get-go.  I sure hope they vote yes.  Dear Lord in Heaven I really hope they vote yes.  They’re lucky they have such a wonderful institution like the EU* and they shouldn’t take it for granted.  It’s just that the “No” campaign has been particularly effective with its lies helpful information propaganda lies.  Like the one about how Lisbon is going to legalize abortion in Ireland, that’s particularly LOLable (the illegality of abortion in Ireland is constitutionally enshrined).

So I’ve been surfing about lisbontreaty2009.ie, which is both informative and entertaining.  But informative is boring.  Upon arriving at the website, the welcome lady, err, welcomes us and we begin our journey.  We’ll be seeing more of her later.  Oh, also in English.  The site is mostly informative but I keep getting distracted by this scary old guy.  I am informed the treaty would not affect Ireland’s neutrality policy.  Which is pity because that’s the one real black mark that country has.

On to the movies! The welcome lady makes a comeback along with a strapping young shamrock with a terrible haircut.  Incidentally, the designers must have decided that Qualified Majority Voting and “The European Council” are more risqué issues because our man let’s his chest hair peak out while the lady displays some cleavage.  These movies are all available in Irish as well which makes these two actors notable as being the only people on the entire island who can actually speak Irish.

In the event the referendum does pass, Polish president Lech Kaczyński needs to get his act together and sign and deposit the Polish bill and then we watch with deep anxiety and hope that the legal challenge brought forward by Czech president Václav Klaus and some uppity senators is finished with before the next UK general election at which point David Cameron has promised to hold a referendum on the issue.  Gordon Brown, you’re still good for something.

* For the record, it would never work in the Americas.  We’d disagree with the US over capital punishment and with Latin America over abortion.

I first became interesting in the subject of whaling when I ate whale (admittedly, quite tasty) in Akureyri, Iceland. The Lonely Planet guidebook took a decidedly anti-whaling stance and not without good reason: whale watching is actually a much more profitable industry than whaling and unsurprisingly the two are somewhat mutually exclusive.

Whaling is one of those things we’re just instinctively opposed to without knowing why. The “I love the animals” argument doesn’t hold water because considering the amount of fish whales eat you actually save lives by killing them. The endangered species argument is valid but misleading. And finally the argument that whales are uniquely intelligent creatures is not backed up by any real science with the possible exception of the sperm whale which nobody hunts anymore. Dolphin hunting (dolphining?) is related but not the same.

Back to the endangered argument: “whales” is a very broad term that envelopes dozens of different species, many of which are not endangered in the least. Of the whale species that are endangered probably the most famous are the blue whale and the right whale. Nobody hunts these species anymore. Not even Japan, and that’s saying something.

Enter the International Whaling Comission (IWC), a well-intentioned but emasculated body. In 1986 the IWC voted to impose moratorium on commercial whaling. However, not being a formal treaty organization this is all non-binding. The chief whaling states–Japan, Iceland and Norway–have largely ignored the moratorium. Canada’s response was the most hilarious: we just simply left the organization.

Japan is the strongest defender of whaling on the IWC, its anti-whaling counterpart has been the United States. Both have been accused of using trade or other outside influence to buy votes within the organization.

This is getting too long, which means there will inevitably be a part two.

The news keeps talking about some coup d’état in Honduras and it’s really pissing me off.

In my mind, a coup usually goes something like this: a small group (often military) unilaterally seizes power, revokes the constitution, bans all political parties and, following a show trial, executes the former leader.

A coup is not when the military, with the full support of congress and the supreme court, removes one elected official from power and flies him to safety in a neighbouring country. I call that an excessively forceful impeachment. That doesn’t make it right, though, it just makes it not a coup. Oh and the new interim president, he’s from the same party as the old one, the Liberal Party. And the legislature that wanted the Zelaya out? Controlled by the Liberal Party.

I don’t know what the point is, but here’s a third bit on Iran. I’m really pessimistic about the chances of a positive outcome, but I guess anything could happen.

Props to Mousavi for refusing to back down, but he needs to do more. Even if he’s not backing down, some of his supporters are. They’re tired and afraid for their safety. Mousavi needs to step up and start appearing at these rallies… Khatami too, and even Rafsanjani. It’s true he’ll be risking life and limb but being the kind of figure he is, the Sword of Damocles is nothing new. When his supporters see that he is willing to be out there, it’ll be the best recruitment tool ever. In fact, and I know this will sound insensitive, but if Mousavi were to be arrest or, God forbid, killed, the outrage stemming from this would be of revolutionary proportions.

A more thing. Rafsanjani may appear to be somewhat of an ally now, but at heart he’s still a conservative. He’s also got his eyes on the position of Supreme Leader. The man who should be Supreme Leader, Hossein Ali Montazeri, is currently under house arrest. Maybe they should spring him loose. Montazeri was being groomed as Khomeini’s successor when he had to go and speak up against the mass executions of political prisoners in 1988. The nerve! In hindsight, had he known Khomeini would be dead within a year he could have just buckled down and waited it out.

P.S. I suppose I should say something about MJ. Great singer, weird guy.
I’ve always liked this song for obvious reasons:

Scenario 1: The election results are legit and Ahmedinejad has won by a landslide.

We have a country full of crazies and in several years they’ll have nuclear weapons. Oh shit, Israel already has nukes and the finger on the button belongs to Binyamin Netanyahu.

Scenario 2: The election was rigged, the results are fraudulent.

It’s back to the 1980s for Iran. The opposition will be rounded up (some already have been) and dissent will be silenced. Sounds about time for another revolution. Let’s be proactive and evacuate the embassies now.

Contrary to what many think, the Islamic Republic of Iran is indeed a democracy. It has multiple political parties which field candidates in relatively free elections. Which is more than can be said for Cuba, a country the loony left has no short supply of love for. However, it is an illiberal democracy: all candidates, presidential or parliamentary, must be pre-approved by the unelected Guardian Council. Also, when in power, there’s no guarantee you can actually achieve what you planned, especially if your ideas are contrary to those of the religious elite.

So, democratic? Yes. Free? Absolutely not. But the sooner we can get Ahmedinejad out of there, the better off everyone will be. So our greatest, best hope is Mir-Hossein Mousavi. As far as reformers go, he’s relatively conservative. But he firmly believes in the Holocaust. And at the end of the day, a more conservative reformer is less likely to piss off the clergy and therefore less likely to have all his attempts at reform stonewalled à la Khatami.

So while a wind of change might not be sweeping through the Land of the Aryans, let’s hope and pray for at least a light breeze.

I wrote most of this several days ago but the “Moving Forward” and the “The Diaspora” sections were incomplete and I felt they are very necessary so that it doesn’t just look like I’m merely celebrating a military victory.

After the BJP’s humiliating defeat and with Aung Sun Suu Kyi on trial, it’s a relief to finally hear some good news coming out of South Asia: the Liberation Tigers Of Tamil Eelam*, the LTTE, have been officially pwned. Velupillai Prabhakaran, its power-hungry leader for just over 33 years is no more.

Not as flashy as al Qaeda or as deceptive as Hamas, the LTTE were FUCKING BRUTAL in their own special way. Now just to be sure, I am in no way condoning the heavy handedness of the Sri Lankan Army but we must realize that the enemy of my enemy is quite often also my enemy. Stalin kicked some serious Nazi ass but that doesn’t mean I’ll be inviting him to my next birthday party (he died a long time ago anyway). But despite his rhetoric, Prabhakaran cared not about the Tamil people, only power. There may be a fine line between terrorist and freedom fighter but the LTTE were nowhere near it. One little bit of trivia: the LTTE are (one of) the only terrorist organization(s) to ever have an air force.

Beaten but not Forgotten

One of the most enduring legacies of the LTTE will undoubtedly be its brilliant invention. It’s easy to forget that less than two decades ago all suicide bombings were carried out with the aid of some sort of vehicle. But the LTTE changed all that. The explosive belt is a device so simple it’s a wonder somebody else didn’t think of it sooner. But it was the Tigers who unveiled their ingenious invention in 1991 with the assassination of Rajiv Gandhi (no doubt also helping “Gandhi” set the record for most assassinations per surname). From there on the floodgates opened up. Women, children, anybody could be a suicide bomber. All you need are charismatic leaders who don’t have you best interests in mind and a whole lotta ka-blam!

Moving Forward

The ball is in Sri Lanka’s court. With the LTTE out of the way they must quickly reconcile with their Tamil minority. No doubt some just must be served to those guilty of crimes against humanity but a witchhunt is in nobody’s best interest. The government needs to implement devolution to the Northern Province as promised in the Indo-Sri Lanka Accord. At the same time, This needs to be coupled with firm maintainance by the central government that separatism will not be tolerated. Amending the constitution in order to make Sri Lanka a federation would be the best course of action. That way, if in the future an extreme Sinhala nationalist party comes into power they can’t just revoke the devolved authority.

The Diaspora

Now Canada, Toronto especially, has the largest population of Tamils outside of Asia and the largest population of Sri Lankan Tamils outside of Sri Lanka itself. It was only recently that I became aware of the fact that there is a clear distinction between Sri Lankan Tamils and the inhabitants of Tamil Nadu. While the cultures are closely related they have nonetheless been separate societies for many centuries now.

Members of the Sri Lankan diaspora have a duty to lobby foreign governments in the interests of the homeland but I believe they’re doing it all wrong. Mass gatherings with the waving of what appear to be terrorist colours is no way to garner support. In fact, forget about support for the time being and focus on sympathy. Ideally people would just care for the situation of all oppressed people around the world. But this isn’t the case: we have busy lives and only so much love to give. So that’s why you must promote a sort of “Tamilophilia.” For example, during the Greek War of Independence many Europeans were of the mindset of “Fuck yeah! Greeks rule! Plato and Alexander the Great and shit! Awesome!” Looking to a more modern time, the Israeli War of Independence: “Alright man, I LOVE the Jews, they wrote the bible and we’ve been shitting on them for two thousand years!” But if someone is to mention the plight of the Kurds the response is more along the lines of “dude, I love cheese curds.”

Much like Greek, the Tamil language is one of the oldest languages in the world still in use. The Tamils have a rich and prosperous history: people need to be informed about this.

*It’s their proper name, and “Tamil Tigers” sounds more like a baseball team than an international terrorist organization.

(Cross posted at Facebook and LiveJournal.)

So it seems fairly certain that there’s going to be a Likud victory. Now, if we’re lucky they will be able form a rainbow coalition with their traditional opponents, Kadima and Labor. Otherwise, Yisrael Beitanu will be the main coalition partner, which means Israeli politics will swing way to the right. Yisrael Beitanu, also known (mainly by me) as the “Fucking Crazy Party”, has been compared to the Nazis on occasion but I think that’s just journalists getting off on the irony of comparing a Jewish organization to a notoriously antisemitic one. However, Yisrael Beitanu is ultra-nationalistic and racist, which is bad news for any Arabs living in Israel or (especially) the Palestinian territories.

The funny thing is that it is Hamas and, by negligence, the rest of the Arab world, that has driven the Israeli public to such hawkishness. By their constant barrage of rockets, Hamas has brought this on. Now, I can see two possible explanations for this:

1. Hamas just loves war. They love getting their jihad on and no peace process is going to stop them. Notably when the UN Security Council came up with a ceasefire proposal Hamas rejected it alongside Israel.

2. The concept of a liberal democracy where people vote for the party that best represents their views instead of the party which they view as being least corrupt; this concept is so utterly foreign to Hamas that they are unaware of the influence they have on Israeli politics.

Now the Israeli blockade of Gaza is stupid, ineffective and wickedly damaging to Israeli credibility. Just take a look at Cuba and you’ll see how effective blockades are for inducing regime change. However, the term “Israeli blockade” is misleading because Egypt has been maintaining a blockade as well. You see, everyone hates Hamas. Especially the Arab countries. Egypt is willing to blockade Gaza in order to protect its citizens but is unwilling to take any further action. The governments of the Arab world avoid criticizing Hamas too much because they fear it might provoke an international Islamist uprising (cf. Mugabe and the African Union). So they choose to butt heads with Israel instead of Hamas. Better the devil you know.