But, lest I be branded a fanboy, or what hip hop fans describe using the wonderfully crude term “dickrider,” I also have some negative criticism too.

12GB of HD space is excessive.  I might be able to overlook it if the load times were fast, but they’re not.  They are painfully slow.

With StarCraft II Blizzard is obviously trying to appeal to people outside the traditional StarCraft/Warcraft fanbase (“Warcraft” referring to the original 3 RTS games).  Now this is perfectly sensible.  Video games aren’t like art, they generally need to be popular in the here and now.  In 40 years time noöne is going to rediscover Daikatana and declare it a lost masterpiece.

Some of the efforts are purely cosmetic, for instance the “Easy” setting is instead called “Casual” which is another way of saying “I suck but I don’t want to admit it.” All these little things make absolute sense from a commercial standpoint.  Nevertheless I will never be able to accept that Cylon lady as the voice of Kerrigan. In Glynnis Talken Blizzard already had a great, albeit unknown, voice actress.  Talken was originally confirmed and then unconfirmed for the role.  Tricia Helfer’s fees would have undoubtedly been much higher but I’m sorry to say that this ploy to rope in casual sci‐fi fans at the expense hardcore StarCraft fans (most of whom probably play the game primarily for its multiplayer aspect and therefore don’t care) will probably a successful one.

Sort of splitting hairs I know.  As I said initially, StarCraft II is, and remains, awesome.

Also, as a side note, in my imagination Blizzard has a special Subtitle Department.  Seriously, look at some of these:

Tides of Darkness
Lord of Destruction
Reign of Chaos
Eternity’s End
Terror of the Tides
The Burning Crusade
Wings of Liberty
Heart of the Swarm

Although, their originality may be slipping:
Path of the Damned
Legacy of the Damned
Legacy of the Void

Similarly, Eric of Pomeria possessed three separate titles: Eirik III of Norway, Erik VII of Denmark and Erik (XIII) of Sweden.  Although the Scandinavian kingdoms came under a variety of different personal unions, they always remained independent, at least on paper.

Now on July 8, 1821, a man whom I’ll call George Augustus Frederick Hanover was crowned George IV of the United Kingdom despite the fact that he was only the UK’s second monarch.  Now obviously math was not a strong subject for whoever was in charge of these things.  Perhaps it was George himself, or maybe the Archbishop of Canterbury, I don’t know but it is an error that persists to this day.

It’s true his father had already taken the title George III of the UK, but it’s well known that George III was a few bricks short of a load so we’ll let him off the hook for that one.  But our current reigning monarch, Elizabeth II is certainly of sound mind, so maybe just noone has told her there weren’t any previous queens named Elizabeth (actually…).

I can tell you with absolute certainly there was never a Queen Elizabeth I of Papua New Guinea. The only way the name “Elizabeth II” would make sense is if she was Queen of England or Empress of Russia.  But I know for a fact that the Kingdom of England ceased to exist in 1707 and modern England has yet to be given devolved government like the other countries in the UK.  Likewise, I’m pretty sure Vladimir Putin is the reigning Tsar of Russia.

• There are 54 Commonwealth countries, 16 of which have Elizabeth II as there head of state
• The United Kingdom (UK) is most definitely a Commonwealth country
• The reigning Duke of Normandy has travelled to and spent far more time in the UK than in Canada
• One does not visit one’s home but rather returns to it after visiting other places

In order for Mr. Harper’s comments to be true the UK must be considered the home of the former queen of Pakistan and thus not a place she can “visit.”  In turn since she does “visit” Canada then this country must not be considered her home.  Therefore, Elizabeth II, Paramount Chief of Fiji is indeed a foreign monarch.

All that being said, the Lord of Mann does speak fluent French so I’ll give her kudos for that.

But that’s not what happened.  Flying over 200,000 flights for a period of nearly a year the RAF and the USAF brought vital supplies to the 2.5 million civilians of West Berlin.

The dwellers of Gaza have no such guardian angels. Of course, the Berliners weren’t firing rockets at anyone.  But I don’t think you can necessarily blame the average Gazan for that.  True, they voted the terrorists into government but to me that’s just a sign of a truly lousy education system.

You won’t hear it in the news but Egypt, that’s the Arab Republic of Egypt has also kept a blockade of the Gaza Strip since 2007, seemingly with the full blessing of the Arab League.  This is the same Arab League that kicked Egypt out in 1979 for merely acknowledging Israel.

You see, the Arab world hates Hamas even more than the West does: they’re deathly afraid the religious crazies in their own countries will take power.

Hamas themselves have become the new Tamil Tigers in that their hunger for power has displaced any ideology they once might have had.

The West doesn’t care because there is no money to be made in Palestine.

The Third World has their own shit to deal with.

And finally the international activists are more interested in getting attention and ridiculing Israel which is why they never take Egypt or Syria or Hamas to task.

So when you break it all down nobody cares.  Those poor Palestinian people.  God help them… because no one else will.

Georgia’s entry to Eurovision 2009 was the most genius diplomatic manœuvre I have ever seen.  Faced with a militarily humiliating (but diplomatically empowering) defeat at Russian hands, Georgia was not too keen to be attending any contests hosted by Russia.  Adding to that is the possibility that should Georgia perform especially poorly on Russian soil would be to add insult to injury.

But at the same time, Georgia wants to take the high road and not look like they’re chickening out.  Enter “We Don’t Wanna Put In”: a song whose political connotations (i.e. “We don’t want a Putin”) are obvious enough to ensure disqualification, but yet subtle enough for Georgia to claim Russian interference.

As for the song itself, it’s not bad but it sounds a lot like “Disco Inferno” by The Trammps.

* * *

Speaking of the Eurovision Song Contest, this year was quite a disappointment.  I found the overall quality of the songs to be much lower.  But I did enjoy the winner, Lena:

I mean, isn’t she just ridiculously adorable?  Especially with that fucked up faux‐English accent that mysteriously disappears whenever she’s speaking German.

But most importantly, thanks to Lena’s victory, her grandfather, a former West German diplomat, now has his own Wikipedia page.

Scene: VE Day celebrations, Ireland
“Yay! The Nazis surrendered!”
“And no thanks to us!”

Scene: VE Day celebrations, Sweden and Switzerland
“Yay! The Nazis surrendered!”
“In spite of us!”
“And I hope no one noticed how we aided them while maintaining the façade of neutrality!”

The Canadian military has a history of being uniquely selfless.  During both world wars there were periodic U‐boat attacks along the Atlantic shoreline (many of which were directed at Newfoundland so technically not even Canada).  Apart from these, the last international conflict fought on Canadian soil was the War of 1812.  Time after time, our loyalty to the Empire and other allies has seen our young men and women being sent to all corners of the globe.  And that “women” part is key, too, as we possess one of the unfortunately few completely integrated militaries in the world.

Observing recent ceremonies in the Netherlands it was heartwarming to see how much respect our military can still command in light of the ungratefulness exhibited by more recently liberated peoples.  I guess some people just aren’t big on democracy.  Not that the liberation of Europe was seamless: there were plenty of people upset with the post‐war status quo both legitimately (Forest Brothers, cursed soldiers) and not so much (Red Brigades, EOKA). But nobody as persistent or as popular as the Taliban.  Those guys reeeealy like their theocracy.

In the future I propose we only intervene in countries that have been democratic within the last 20 years and/or have significant cultural ties with us.  First stop: Fiji!

P.S. Oh, to add to that bit at the beginning.  I reserve a special kind of loathing for neutral states.  To be neutral is to say there is no right or wrong.

Now, at the risk of sounding blasphemous, I’m going to be a little critical of Holocaust education.  One can argue that, because there are many people who don’t know about the Holocaust or, even worse, know of it but reject its existence, we should focus on just getting out the message period, quality being secondary.  I see that point but I disagree.

When I first learned of the Holocaust and for many years after the impression I got was that it occured in a vacuum.  That is, the European Jewry were happily living their lives, not a care in the world, and then the Nazis came along and pulled the rug out from underneath them.  This of course is so very not true.  The Holocaust, while undoubtedly the most heinous instance of antisemitism ever, was “merely” the culmination of over two thousand years of Jewish-targeted persecution.  I don’t seek to try and use Holocaust Remembrance Day to remember every victim of antisemitism ever nor am I trying to diminish the uniquely horrible nature of the Holocaust but rather I think it is advantageous for us to observe the bigger picture.

The story of the Holocaust is therefore incomplete I think without the mention at least four things from history: the Jewish–Roman wars and their aftermath, the Inquisition, the Protocols of the Elders of Zion and, probably the most relevant, Luther’s writings on the Jews and culture of antisemitism they helped spawn in Germany.  And that’s just the minimum.

I think it is very important that we learn the exact context that the Holocaust occured in.  Not so that it can be somehow justified or written off as inevitable but so we can precisely understand why it happened and make certain that it never happens again.

Never Again

NATO has an important role to play tempering Russian influence over the former Soviet Union but I foresee Ukraine playing a key role in maintaining security and cooperation in Europe and and joining a U.S.‐dominated military alliance would result more in just pissing Russia off than anything constructive. The Ukrainians are strong‐willed people—not malleable like the Belarusians—so the danger of Finlandization is really not an issue.

So who’s it going to be? I really have no idea, it’s, as they say, “too close to call.” But my support is behind Yulia Tymoshenko all the way. But my exact reasons for that support are hard to explain. I’ll be the first to admit that part of Mrs. Tymoshenko’s allure is decidedly non‐political. She has down pat that whole “Amazonia, Queen of the Slavs” look that intrigues men and empowers women. Not to mention the fact that she counts among her supporters real life Amazon Ruslana. And if I spoke Ukrainian I’d probably be able to also appreciate Mrs. Tymoshenko’s charismatic authority versus Mr. Yanukovych’s clunky turns of phrase. She’s definitely more experienced but that same experience, as prime minister during the recession, may be her downfall.

Honestly I don’t know what I’m going on about. The eastward march of the European Union cannot be stopped. Though corruption in Ukraine is a reality, it still pales in comparison to Central Asia. Either candidate would be good for Ukraine. Maybe they can form a coalition. Everybody will be happy. Well, everybody except Viktor Yushchenko.

I just wanted to point out that despite many already existing Tymoshenko-Yanukovych images, I made this one all by myself, WITH THE MOST RECENT IMAGES. Yup.

Although it’s unlikely it’ll ever gain the prestige of the Nobel Peace Prize the European Parliament’s Sakharov Prize has become a more credible award. There’s a couple reasons for this. One has to do with the criteria. The Nobel Peace Prize is generally awarded for specific deeds, actions, events, etc. This is in contrast to all the other Nobel Prizes which are essentially lifetime achievement awards. So this means that a person who facilitates a major peace treaty will likely get the award even if he has a highly dubious track record. Henry Kissinger and Yasir Arafat are the two names most often brought up.

The Sakharov Prize on the other hand doesn’t tie itself to particular events. Take for example Chinese dissident Wei Jingsheng, winner of the 1996 prize. Wei’s big claim to fame is his 1978 essay “The Fifth Modernization” that he posted on Beijing’s Democracy Wall. Wei hasn’t done anything as well publicized since then but he’s never relented in his fight to bring democracy to his country. That’s why he deserves the recognition the Nobel Committee hasn’t given him.

And then we get to the second, more troubling issue surrounding the Nobel Peace Prize. Recently there has been a phenomenon that I like to call “Nobel activism” in which awards are given based not just on the merits of the recipient but also to send a message and influence future events. In the last decade the prize has been awarded to three influential members of the United States Democratic Party: Jimmy Carter in 2002, Al Gore in 2007 and now Barack Obama in 2009. It’s really hard to read this as anything other than a “fuck you” to George W. Bush. And there are much better / less sacred avenues to send that message.

The European Parliament’s award doesn’t get caught up with celebrity recipients. This year’s winner is Memorial (Мемориал), a Russian-based organization that fights for human rights and press freedom in the former Soviet Union. That the Sakharov Prize should go to Memorial is both fitting and troubling. Fitting because Andrei Sakharov himself helped found the organization in 1988. Troubling because while Memorial was formed to fight for democracy in the USSR, nearly two decades after its dissolution, the organization is still as busy as ever.

Wei Jingsheng’s “The Fifth Modernization”
Sakharov Prize at the European Parliament’s official website
RFE/RL article on prize-winner Memorial
Memorial official website

Song: “Fairytale Of New York”
Artist: The Pogues & Kirsty MacColl
Comment: Probably the best of the bunch.  It’s much more than just a Christmas song which means prevents it from losing relevance year round.

Song: “Gaudete”
Artist: Steeleye Span
Comment: As far as I can tell, the only Latin language song to ever become a hit single.  “Sadeness” was half in French and Chant was an album, not a single.  It works outside the Christmas season because I can’t understand the words.

Song: “Oi to the World!”
Artist: The Vandals
Comment: A humorous tale about Haji, a turban-clad punk, and Trevor, an ostensibly racist skinhead, who, following a bloody fight, make up and enjoy Christmas.  Lyrics about God coming down on Christmas day would be presumably ironic if not for the fact that the song was written by Joe Escalante, who, along with Johnny Ramone, represents the entire conservative punk rock community.

Song: “Christmas Time Is Here (vocal)”
Artist: Vince Guaraldi Trio
Comment: A Charlie Brown Christmas is still my favourite Christmas special and I’m a big fan of Vince Guaraldi’s music so what’s not to like?

Song: “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)”
Artist: Darlene Love
Comment: A Christmas Gift for You from Phil Spector is a spotty album at times but this song is a stone cold classic.  Darlene Love has much better pipes than Ronnie Spector for whom it was written.  It’s a shame Spector didn’t produce more material for her.

Song: “Father Christmas”
Artist: The Kinks
Comment: Ray Davies can write guitar riffs like no other.

Song: “Jesus Christ”
Artist: Big Star
Comment: This song has always perplexed me.  The odd title and great tune don’t seem congruent with Alex Chilton’s disaffected voice.  Chilton has gone on record stating that he’s not religious so it’s anyone’s guess.  Just one of the many oddities from the shambolic masterpiece that is Third/Sister Lovers.

Song: “White Christmas”
Artist: Bing Crosby
Comment: This one’s kinda obvious.